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John talks to me about near-death experiences, real and imaginary. Also, he's a hobbit:

John: I nearly died three times!
John: for real!
Snacky: how?
Snacky: three times in a row?
Snacky: recently?
John: First I didn't see where a curb ended, and then I walked in front of one moving car, and then another
John: mom was basically a neverending scream
Snacky: like, within how many hours?
John: within a minute
Snacky: what the HELL John
Snacky: what the hell?
John: snacky
John: snacky
John: I just realized
John: I'm a hobbit
Snacky: you live in a hill?
John: I do!
Snacky: i thought you lived in a house
John: my house is built into a hil
John: the area I live in is inside the hill
John: with a window peeking above
John: it's why my HUGE room has just the one dinky window
Snacky: yeah, you totes are a hobbit
John: :D good times!
John: also, I'm fucked if there's a fire
Snacky: you'll crawl out the dinky window!
John: I'm not sure i could climb up to it
Snacky: start practicing
John: I accept my death
Snacky: it's good to have a fire drill!
Snacky: nooooo
John: it's the end
John: oh well
Snacky: fire drill!
Snacky: wait, is there a fire now?
John: no no
Snacky: you were so accepting
John: anyway, outside the window is rosebushes
John: full of thorns
John: I'm also sleeping beauty
John: ...Briar Rose, as it were
Snacky: okay, listen, between fire and thorns, I would pick the thorns
John: no no
John: death is the way it's all pointing
John: so sad
John: too bad
Snacky: very fatalistic
John: well, I did nearly die today
John: I've come to accept it
snacky: (snacky princess snax)
My friend told me on Easter that she thinks she's developed an allergy to peanut butter.

Friend: I've eaten a lot of peanut butter eggs this year. A lot. *shifty eyes* I had to buy the kid's Easter candy twice. And I started getting a rash on my chest. So I think I might be allergic to peanut butter now. My father developed a peanut allergy when he was 60, and I'm afraid I might be developing it now.
Me: That sounds like you are! *explains how my allergy (not to peanut butter) started with a rash*
Friend: But I love peanut butter! How will I live without peanut butter?!
Me: I don't know but you'll --
Friend: -- maybe it's the chocolate! Maybe it's not the peanut butter?
Me: I suppose you could try them separately?
Friend: I had peanut butter crackers the other day, and I got the rash.
Me: not the chocolate then.
Friend: Well, everything else is fine! I mean, my tongue doesn't swell up, and my throat doesn't close, and my lips don't feel fuzzy, so...
Me: the plan is keep eating peanut butter until full-blown anaphylaxis sets in?
Friend's Sister: THANK YOU!

I'll keep you updated, if she goes into a Reese's peanut butter cup related coma.


I went to the dentist again yesterday. Words you never want to hear from a dental professional: "Wow, your gums look like hamburger."


We are trying something with the crown, to hopefully heal my gums and my irritated tooth. My dentist is a loon, but he's a good guy.
snacky: (fan war)
While discussing fic tropes and tags:

John: what's omegaverse?
Snacky: oh john
Snacky: i almost don't want to tell you
John: wait
John: does this involve 'knotting'
Snacky: yes
John: shh
John: shh
John: no more words
Snacky: it grew out of knotting, but now there is more to it
John: shh
Snacky: i mean, basically knotting was not enough
Snacky: wait
Snacky: i'm not shhshing fast enough, am I?
John: no
John: *gets taser*
snacky: (X-Men friends)
John is delving into X-Men history and retcons:

John: christ

John: check out this retcon

John: Later on, Professor Charles Xavier recruits Wolverine to a new team of X-Men. Disillusioned with his Canadian intelligence work and intrigued by Xavier's offer, Logan resigns from Department H.[27] It was later revealed, however, that Professor X had wiped Logan's memories and forced him to join the X-Men after Wolverine was sent to assassinate Xavier.[28]

Snacky: what the heck? I never heard that one!

John: it's a newish retcon

Snacky: man, when did they decided that Xavier was just a dick and nothing else was good storytelling?

Snacky: I mean, I always got he was kind of flawed, and had done things he regretted, but whenever they retcon things, it's like, "Let's see who we can ruin today! Is Gambit available? Rogue? Wolverine? No? Crap, guess we gotta make Xavier suck some more then."

John: retcon: everytime xavier was eating with the x-men, he was actually eating mutant kittens

Snacky: next thing you know, it's going to be retconned that he gave them irradiated water to drink as children to cause them to become mutants, and he was just making up the X-gene all along

John: ahahahah!

Snacky: and that he's mind-controlled them all for the better parts of their lives and everything they think is free will and choice is just Xavier playing with them like they were Barbie dolls

Snacky: "Today I think I'll make Scott and Jean fall in love. Later I'll have that hairy little creature come between them. I'll kill Jean a few times and then see where we end up."

Snacky: did you know that Claremont's original plan wasn't that Logan was a mutant, it was that he actually evolved from a goddamned wolverine

John: I love the wolverine as a wolverine idea

Snacky: Just a wolverine who learned to walk upright!
snacky: (Default)
Earlier I was talking with [profile] comice, and in between depressing topics, we got around to talking about the festivities for 100th Anniversary of Fenway Park. As you do.

[personal profile] snacky: Is Roger Clemens coming?
[profile] comice: Oh, of course!
[personal profile] snacky: But Roger Clemens? With everything he's got going on?
[profile] comice: He has no shame.
[personal profile] snacky: Oh that is true.
[profile] comice: Anyway, everyone is coming! They're even bringing the frozen head of Ted Williams!
[personal profile] snacky: They're going to roll it across the infield! WAIT! I KNOW! They'll use the head of Ted Williams for throwing out the first pitch!
[profile] comice: Oh my god.
[personal profile] snacky: He won't mind! Ted always loved the game best!
[profile] comice: Good ol' Teddy Ballgame.
snacky: (snacky popcorn)
Today in chatlogs:

John: Hina's watching veronica mars. Just clued in that everyone in that town is evil except veronica and her dad and wallace
Snacky: man, I was thinking i wanted to do a VM rewatch
John: I remember that realization.
Snacky: it was so good, that first season
John: it WAS
Snacky: I even liked the second season
Snacky: but by the third, I wanted to take out a pre-emptive restraining order on Rob Thomas
John: christ rob thomas.
snacky: (say something nice!)
My mother is talking about her friend, the vegan, PETA-supporting animal lover:

My mother: She even likes that stupid thing that attacked her dog!
Me: The fisher cat?

Handy visual aide of a fisher cat. You're welcome.

My mother: (in a tone of disgust) Yeah, it almost killed the dog, but now she makes sure to leave food out for it so it won't try to eat the dog again. That stupid thing! Hanging in the tree like that! It skeeves me to think about it!
Me: Feeding him does seem like a bad idea.
My mother: Tell me about it. I'd shoot that son of a bitch in a heartbeat.
Me: Shoot him with what?
My mother: I'd buy a special fisher cat gun. Trust me, I'd get rid of him, if he tried to eat my dog.

Luckily for all local fisher cats, my mother doesn't have a dog.


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mr five dollar foot long's sweet caboose

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