[ SECRET POST #7067 ]

May. 12th, 2026 06:35 pm
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[personal profile] case posting in [community profile] fandomsecrets

⌈ Secret Post #7067 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1009.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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May. 12th, 2026 06:15 pm
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[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Eric: When my family's children were young, they mostly traveled the 200 miles to visit for holidays. Now the children are older, and have jobs, friends et cetera. The parents now seem to expect us to do the traveling. We are in our late 70s, and this is getting harder to do.

The change in beds, food, schedules and houses put a toll on our physical body that takes days to recover. This seems hard for them to understand as they haven’t reached this stage.

We now are faced with missing holidays with them to comply with their demands. I have faced the possibility of loneliness that older people seemingly endure nowadays. Is there an answer to this problem or must I endure pain and trauma to see family in older age?

– Sad, Lonely and In Pain


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Posted by Doktor Zoom

screenshot of drone video showing the 'baby Trump' balloon floating above a park with people and trees below it. Picture captioned in Impact font: 'Trump Inflation Report'
Trump balloon over London, July 2018. Screenshot, The Telegraph on YouTube

High fossil fuel prices caused by Donald Trump’s stupid war on Iran pushed inflation in April to the highest level in almost three years, according to the monthly Consumer Price Index report released by the Labor Department’s Bureau of Labor Statistics this morning. The most important questions for the Trump administration are now who to fire at the Labor Department over the bad news, and how exactly to pin the inflation increase on Joe Biden and/or undocumented immigrants.

Inflation on a year-to-year basis rose to 3.8 percent, the highest it’s been since May 2023, when the rate was on its way down from a 2022 peak caused by post-pandemic supply chain disruptions. If inflation keeps rising this month, that’ll make next month’s inflation report headlines a lot easier to write since it’ll be a nice round three years. This small boon for headline writers is just one of the blessings of the Trump presidency for which the Great Leader may not even get proper credit.

Gasoline prices rose 5.4 percent in April, up by about 30 percent from last year. The BLS statement notes that energy prices overall rose by 3.8 percent, “accounting for over forty percent of the monthly all items increase.” The gasoline inflation rate would have been 11.1 percent in plain old at-the-pump price increases, but for statistical purposes was adjusted to the lower 5.4 percent to reflect the normal cost shift for “summer blend” gasoline. Electricity rates were up 2.1 percent, and fuel oil, which yikes, people still use, was up 5.8 percent.


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While oil prices have been the biggest direct driver of inflation in the months since Trump went to war against Iran without (probably) knowing there is any such place as the Strait of Hormuz, high fuel prices have only just started to drive up costs of nearly everything else, because the world’s economy remains over-dependent on fossil fuels. In a message to clients Monday, Citigroup predicted that “Energy costs likely would not start to feed through to core goods prices for at least a few more months.”

But the rise in fuel costs has already hit airfares, which are up 20 percent over last year, as well as apparel, especially your super-wasteful “fast fashion” that’s shipped directly from China and elsewhere. Jet fuel is up 60 percent since the start of the Stupid War, resulting not only in higher airfares but also new baggage fees. The jet fuel crisis that’s hitting Europe and Asia is only incrementally reflected in the US inflation rate, in the form of surcharges by some international carriers serving the USA.

Even the US Postal service introduced a “limited time price change” due to fuel costs in April; we’re sure that will be reduced once everything is back to normal, whenever that may be.

Grocery prices rose by the highest amount in four years, for a total rise of 0.7 percent. That was driven in large part by the increasing cost of beef, up 2.7 percent. As you’ll recall, higher beef prices are entirely the fault of “Biden vegans” who hate America and think climate change is real, although even administration mouthpieces acknowledge that persistent drought has played a large role. But darn it, those vegans wouldn’t allow overgrazing because they think it’s “bad” somehow.

In related beef news, we got yet another reminder Monday that nobody in the Great Dipshit’s administration knows what the fuck they’re doing from day to day. Trump was initially scheduled to sign an executive order to reduce his own tariffs on imported beef, but then the administration delayed that plan (Wall Street Journal gift link) because US beef producers and Republicans in Congress had a cow, for which they wanted as much money as possible. That fuckery was not reflected in the April inflation numbers, but as with the economic ripple effects of the Stupid War, just give it time.

Housing costs also blipped up in April by 0.6 percent; the Washington Post notes (gift link) that shelter prices “had been artificially suppressed by a data quirk tied to last fall’s government shutdown.” In defiance of Donald Trump logic, it turns out that not actually measuring the costs didn’t keep them from rising, a problem that could be solved by never reporting them again.

The higher cost of nearly everything also is gobbling up workers’ buying power, since for the first time since 2023, inflation is going up more rapidly than wages. Haha, remember how just last week Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins was lying about that, claiming that wage growth only outpaced inflation since Trump came to office? Per NBC News,

The pace of wage gains has been slowing over the past two years. In November, wage growth continued to rise at a pace of almost 4%. April’s jobs report, which was released on Friday, showed that wage growth had slowed to 3.6%.

We’ll close with one more reminder that All Trump Fuckery Is Connected, even when it’s not related to the Stupid War: The New York Times reports that food prices have been impacted ever since Trump raised tariffs on imported steel. His goal was to boost US steel production, but of course there aren’t many US steel companies making “tin plate,” the thin steel that’s coated with tin to make food cans. Eighty percent of it has to be imported. For canned fruits or vegetables, the can itself accounts for about a third of the wholesale cost, so pricier imported tin plate equals more expensive food.

But hey, huge good news for Trump! US Steel, the biggest tin plate manufacturer, announced it will restart a factory in Gary, Indiana, sometime in early 2027, creating about 225 permanent jobs. The plant was idled in 2022 because US Steel couldn’t compete with lower-priced imported tin plate. But now steel costs more (and is driving up grocery prices) so hooray, one factory is reopening and the economy is saved! Just one little teensy problem: even with the projected increase in domestic production, the Times points out, “American can makers are likely to import over two-thirds of their tin plate in the coming years, steel executives and analysts said.”

And because the Trump administration demanded that the US government get a “golden share” in US Steel before it could be sold to Japan’s Nippon Steel last year, the administration has a say in its US operations, so it’s not even clear whether the factory in Gary is being restarted because it makes good business sense, as the administration claims, or because it’ll give Trump a “victory” on tariffs.

Ultimately, that won’t matter anyway, because once Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Joe Biden are jailed and all the traitors at BLS are fired, we will officially have the greatest economy with the most jobs and lowest inflation in human history, as reflected in numbers it will be illegal to question.

Also, before leaving for China today, where he’s almost certain to say something insane, Trump acknowledged that he really doesn’t care, do U? Asked whether the rough times for Americans play any role in his thinking — to put it charitably — about his Stupid War, Trump said nah, the only thing that matters is stopping Iran from getting a nuclear weapon, which Barack Hussein Obama already did before Trump tore up that deal.

Acyn shoulda definitely added “…” to show that “Not even a little bit” was followed by Trump’s super tough talk about not letting Iran get nukes. For fairness.

But considering all the times Republicans have lied that Hillary Clinton promised to put coal miners out of job (and to get them training and new work) or that Nancy Pelosi believed Obamacare was a secret (not even remotely what she said), we won’t complain too much if Trump is permanently saddled with having said, “I don't think about Americans’ financial situation. I don't think about anybody.” Sure, we’ll add the footnote about nukes, too.

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Let's Just Can Trump Instead

a somewhat less ambitious day

May. 12th, 2026 07:13 pm
the_shoshanna: my boy kitty (Default)
[personal profile] the_shoshanna
a less physically but more emotionally exhausting dayWe started the day with a non-overwhelming breakfast! Just a bunch of veggies sauteed up together, no eggs no bacon no beans no toast (but yes coffee, and her coffee could punch Superman through a wall). We were delighted! Also, when we asked where we could find a laundromat to wash some clothes, she let us use her machine. So Geoff put a load through and hung it to dry before we left for the day; I had surreptitiously been doing some sink laundry and also I don't sweat the way he does, but I too am glad to have been able to properly wash some things. (Still gotta sink-wash a bra this evening, though; I've had too many destroyed by machines to trust one I don't know.)

Then we headed out to the bus station to catch a bus to the Hamptonne Country Life Museum https://www.jerseyheritage.org/visit/places-to-visit/hamptonne-country-life-museum/ . This was one of the things I specifically wanted to see while we're here, but sadly I was a bit disappointed. There was no living-history reenactor guide working today (the guy at the entry selling tickets said she would have been there but she had to go to a funeral, so I'm not going to complain), and the guide who took us around spent more time talking about what it was like to work there, and less about what it would have been like to live there in the various eras it represented (13th, 17th, and 19th centuries), than I was hoping for. (Honestly, a good episode of Historical Farm would have given me more -- thanks for putting me on to that show, [personal profile] dorinda!) Still, it was interesting to poke around and look at things, and Geoff enjoyed it more than I did, which was good because I was the one who really wanted to go and if he'd been really disappointed I'd probably have felt guilty.

We did see a nineteenth-century apple crusher (which I immediately recognized thanks to Historical Farms!) and got to taste some of the cider they produce there. It was just fermented juice, no added sugar or rum or any of the other things that might be added to improve the taste, and it was like drinking paint thinner, I couldn't even finish my small cup. The guide said it was probably about 5% alcohol, but it felt stronger. So maybe it's a good thing I couldn't finish it!

Interestingly, the average age of the people visiting the museum seemed to hover around 70 that day. "School must be in session," I said to myself.

We finished up in the cafe, where we split an unexciting packaged sausage roll and a jacket potato with tuna mayo and sweetcorn. I don't know if the potato was a local Jersey potato, but it at least was very good! This whole concept of baked potatoes with stuff on them was something entirely unknown to me until a visit to Edinburgh years ago, when we got a number of out-and-about meals from a jacket potato shop that would put any of dozens of salads or sauces or meats or whatnots on them; I remember having to work hard to keep them from also plopping a giant knob of butter inside the potato as a matter of course. I mean, a buttered baked potato is delicious, but if you're topping your potato with a tomato-cucumber salad tossed in a vinaigrette, two tablespoons of butter really does not improve the experience. Anyway, I always think of that place when I have a jacket potato topped with something unusual to me, such as, for instance, tuna mayo with sweetcorn.

The bus we took to the museum was the same line we took home yesterday afternoon and it had the electronic announcement screen, but it wasn't on so I had to track us with my phone again to know when to get off. Ah, well. We had a nice five-minute walk through houses and farms from the bus stop to the museum site, and when we left to go back to the bus stop, the guy in the ticket office told us that if, once we got to the street the bus ran down, we went the other way from the bus stop we would come to an interesting old dovecote. We did walk that way for a bit, but didn't see anything promising, so we turned around and went up to the bus stop.

Rather than taking it all the way back into the capital city, though, we went only three stops (again tracking progress on my phone, for lack of any non-tech way to know where we were or which stop was ours), got off, and walked about fifteen minutes through more houses and potato fields and mildly wooded areas to get to the Jersey War Tunnels https://www.jerseywartunnels.com/.

The occupying German armed forces had this big tunnel complex built, largely but not entirely by forced labor and slave labor, originally as an ammunition store and barracks, later as a potential hospital in case of an Allied assault on the island(s). Now it's been turned into a really excellent museum of the occupation. When we bought our admission tickets we were also given replica ID cards, establishing each of us as an actual Jerseyite whose story we could discover as we went through the exhibits. (I was given the identity of a middle-aged Jewish woman who, when she was arrested a few years into the occupation, managed to escape her guards and flee to someone who hid her until the war ended.)

We made our way through the tunnels, each of which has been set up as a gallery documenting a different aspect of the occupation or part of the war, in chronological order: from the first decision that the islands wouldn't be defended, to the arrival of the Nazi forces, the gradual tightening of restrictions and rations, various people's attempts at resistance, escape, and sometimes collaboration, the arrival of a Red Cross aid ship just as the food situation got desperate, the experience of watching D-Day (remember, you can see France from here!) while still not being freed and while the local German commander was maintaining he would hold fast, until the final surrender and the arrival of the UK troops who raised the Union Jack again, as we saw reenacted a few days ago.

One particularly effective device was life-size human figures with video screens for their heads showing recordings of actors, so that you could imagine actually meeting and talking to the person who was depicted speaking to you. Here's a German soldier, fluent in English, who has bought your child an ice cream; do you let your child take it? Here's another who wants to hire you to do his washing, and you need money desperately; do you take the job? Here's a farm woman talking about food rationing, and how lucky her family is to have some livestock and chickens -- but of course the German authorities closely watch everything, including recording every piglet born, and god help you if you're caught hiding one. Here's a starving Russian slave worker who has escaped his barracks and stolen some carrots from your field; what do you do?

One informational signboard talked about collaborators, including women who went with German soldiers. It did acknowledge that, aside from the fact that the soldiers might be young, handsome, and -- at least in the early years -- friendly and congenial, being friendly with them might also mean extra food and security for the woman (and her family), but no explicit link was drawn between that signboard (which also explained the derogatory term "jerrybags" for such women) and a later one that told the story of a young woman who was "assaulted" (details unspecified but clearly sexual) by a German soldier while she was serving him in a restaurant, slapped him, and was promptly shipped to a German prison camp, where she died. Nor was a comparison made between "jerrybags" and the local workers who took jobs with the occupying forces to help build the tunnel complex. It all reminded me of the way that women's sexual purity so often stands in for and symbolizes all kinds of morality. Why is a woman who accedes to a soldier's demands and blandishments more of a collaborator than a man who takes a job furthering the enemy's projects?

On another note: as we approached the end of the war, plaques on the wall announced various milestones. I was surprised at the strength of my desire to spit upon seeing the one marking Hitler's suicide.

Anyway, the whole thing was A Lot, and very well done.

Eventually we emerged from underground and caught the bus home again. Once again we stopped on our way home from the bus station for an early dinner, rather than go home and then have to leave again; we found a nice sort of Spanish-Asian fusion place on one of the squares we walked through that had pleasant outdoor seating. (For COVID-cautious reasons we prefer to eat outside when we can; we're also masking on the buses and in other indoor public spaces. We haven't seen a single other person masking, but no one seems to give us the stink-eye about it, except possibly for one person on the bus the other day who seemed not to want to sit next to me.) Geoff had delicious lasagna that came with yet more delicious chips, and I, having not yet had any seafood other than some salmon at the arts centre cafe, had a sizzling plate of scallops and veggies in a vaguely oyster-sauce kind of sauce? Also a nice big glass of merlot, and Geoff had a pint of a Spanish beer called Madri, which he liked but I did not care for. And then back to the guesthouse and blogging!

One thing that has both startled and amused me is that several people (including the ticket guy at the Hamptonne museum), on hearing that we're planning to go from Jersey to spend ten days in Guernsey, have reacted with "Ten days on Guernsey?" in a very what-the-hell-would-you-do-that-for? tone of voice. I'm assuming that this is an expression of inter-island rivalry and not a real indication that we'll be bored out of our minds 😂 I mean, we did accumulate a list of things we might want to see there, and hikes we might want to do, and also we'll probably take a day trip to Herm.

But before then we still have three days here on Jersey to fill! It's likely to rain tomorrow and Thursday, so maybe we won't do another big hike, but we would like to see the Jersey Zoo...but for now, it's oh-so-exciting hand laundry for me, and curling up with some internet.
oursin: The Delphic Sibyl from the Sistine Chapel (Delphic sibyl)
[personal profile] oursin

(Mix and shake that metaphor and pour it over ice and serve it up with a wee paper umbrella!)

Somebody today on Another Site was mourning the Old Days on LJ which made me think of:

All the various Old Days in my life on and offline which were by their nature transient -

- but that transient didn't mean that they didn't have lasting effects/influence.

(I will spare dr rdrz accounts of various short-lived initiatives I encountered among the archives and in the course of Mi Researchez which nonetheless echoed down the years.)

Also that even had things not fallen out the way things did with LJ (hiss, boo, etc) by now it would almost certainly not be the same experience as it was in the 00s - people would have come, people would have gone, our interests and energies would have changed....

So we would probably be nostalgically regetting the glory days before [whenever].

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Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I just started working for an all-remote company who announced an in-person retreat not long after I was hired. (And after I specifically asked during the hiring process if any travel was required and was assured it was not, but anyway…) I am disabled (albeit not visibly), so travel is a struggle but usually doable, and the vibes I got from leadership were “you better have a really good reason for not attending.” I was still early in my probation period, wanted to make a good impression, so I sucked it up and agreed to attend.

The retreat is coming up, and leadership has been infuriatingly coy about details, but the more they share, the more I realize this is going to be a nightmare and I physically cannot do most if any of the “fun” team-building activities. In another situation, I would pull out at this point, but my plane ticket was nonrefundable and my reputation is still on the line. I am anxious, frustrated, and just generally upset about the whole thing.

I’m meeting with my manager this week to basically disclose my disability and explain I will be sitting a lot of stuff out.

Any advice you could provide, about this conversation with my manager, how to survive the trip, how to handle questions about why I am not participating, how to professionally communicate to leadership that accessibility extends far beyond just booking accessible hotel rooms, anything would be so helpful.

This sucks, I’m sorry.

I would start with this: “As more info has been shared about activities at the retreat, I’m realizing I won’t be able to participate in most of it, and possibly none of it, because of a disability. Having to field lots of questions about why I’m not able to participate obviously isn’t a comfortable situation to be in. Would it make sense for me to skip this one and attend in the future if they’re more accessible?”

Or if you’d prefer to attend at this point, despite the situation they’ve created: “As more info has been shared about activities at the retreat, I’m realizing I won’t be able to participate in most of it, and possibly none of it, because of a disability. Can we talk about what the logistics will be since I won’t be able to do X, Y, and Z?” They may be caught off-guard and not have a good answer on the spot, so if there’s a way you’d prefer to handle it, offer that up (like “I’d be happy to attend the potato sack race and cheer from the sidelines, but for the afternoon of zip-lining, I think it would make sense for me to stay back at the hotel” or whatever you’d ideally want to do).

If you go and get questions from coworkers about why you’re not participating, it depends on how much you’re comfortable sharing. Anything like the following would work:
* “Bad back, can’t!”
* “Medical stuff, I hope you have fun though!”
* “My doctor would kill me.”
* “Medical restrictions, but it looks fun!”

If you’re breezy and matter-of-fact about it, most other people will be too. But if you encounter anyone who’s determined to “fix” the problem and find a way for you to participate (which can be well-intentioned or can just be someone who’s a busybody), you can shut that down: “Oh, I appreciate it, but this is the safest option for me so no thank you.” … “I don’t want to get into medical stuff at work, but there isn’t actually a way to make it safe for me. Go have fun, I’m fine!” … and if necessary: “Truly, no.”

I’d also recommend talking with HR to explain the situation and ask that they ensure accessibility is given more consideration in the future. It sounds like this possibility wasn’t on anyone’s radar at all, and it needs to be. Sometimes that happens when a company has never done a retreat before, or with a new and growing company that is brand new to having to consider the diverse health needs of a workforce. If they’re large and have been around a long time and have done in-person retreats before, this is a lot more startling. But either way, they need to get it on their radar now, and I’m sorry you have to be the messenger.

The post I’m too disabled for my company’s retreat appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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Posted by Robyn Pennacchia

America’s uterus-havers have once again been granted a reprieve! For the next three days, at least, it will continue to be legal for doctors to prescribe mifepristone over the internet and have it mailed to their patients, as per an order from Justice Samuel Alito. The extension will allow the court time to consider an emergency request from two manufacturers of mifepristone to halt a ruling from the Fifth Circuit in the case of Louisiana v. FDA, which would once again require in-person prescribing and distribution of the medication.

The in-person requirement was lifted during the COVID pandemic, largely because there is no real medical reason for it beyond “some people don’t like abortions and would prefer others not be allowed to have them.” Louisiana says the rule undermines its state law that bans abortions in all cases. However, it is not the FDA’s job to enforce individual state laws, it is to create rules based on what is safe for consumers. And whether Louisiana likes it or not, it is perfectly safe to prescribe mifepristone without an in-person visit and to distribute it through the mail.

One of the key plaintiffs in the case is Rosalie Markezich, who says her boyfriend bought the pills online from a doctor in California, and then coerced her into taking them, claiming he would not have been able to to do that if doctors were required to only prescribe and distribute the pill in person (because of how all abortion is illegal in Louisiana). It’s practically a dream scenario for anti-abortion rights advocates, who like to pretend that a significant portion of those who have abortions were pressured into them, either by a partner or a family member, or by nefarious feminists who just want to kill all of the fetuses for some reason.

But here’s the thing: it’s already illegal, in every state, to force someone to take an abortion pill against their will. Louisiana, in fact, has specifically made it a felony punishable by five to 20 years in prison to coerce someone by "force, control, or intimidation" into having an abortion.

The fact that a substance can be used for harm or in an illegal way by an abusive person or in an illegal manner isn’t a good enough reason to restrict its usage for everyone else who is not using it that way. Somebody could order antifreeze on the internet and then murder someone with it. It doesn’t mean we ban antifreeze for its common and correct purposes!

Ironically, the US Postal Service is currently “mulling over” a proposed rule from the Trump administration that would allow people to send guns to one another through the mail. Since 1927, only licensed firearm dealers have been able to mail certain kinds of guns, but the Trump administration considers that to be “unconstitutional.” So I guess that means that they’d have less of a problem with Rosalie Markezich’s boyfriend shooting her than with him coercing her into having an abortion.


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Kansas Abortion Foes Still Trying It

In 2022, Kansans voted by an incredible 59-41 margin landslide to keep the right to abortion in their state constitution. Since then, abortion rights foes have been trying to find a sneaky way to make abortion illegal, despite the wishes of Kansas voters.

That’s why this year, they’re pushing for an amendment that would appoint judges to the state Supreme Court based on elections rather than on merit — believing that Kansans would elect justices who would issue conservative rulings on abortion and school funding — and also allow Supreme Court justices to engage in political activity.

Via Kansas Reflector:

The Marion County Record in December reported that [Ty] Masterson, the Senate president from Andover who is seeking the GOP nomination for governor, told a Patriots for Liberty group that electing justices would reverse Supreme Court decisions on abortion rights.

“But you can’t go out there and say it because they’ll say that if you elect your Supreme Court, you won’t have any right to abortion anymore,” Masterson said.

He added: “If we elect our Supreme Court, they won’t force you to spend money on schools.”

Yes, because they want to force people to have kids against their will, but they don’t want to fund the schools that those kids will go to. Nice people!

Abortion rights advocates, however, are working hard to make it very clear that “if you elect your Supreme Court, you won’t have any right to abortion anymore.”

“I know that Kansans will rise to the occasion, and they will understand that this is about overturning abortion protections,” Sandy Brown of the Kansas Abortion Fund told the Kansas Reflector. “This is about electing Supreme Court justices where big money will be thrown in. And we all know what that what that’s going to look like. It’s going to get ugly.”


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Trump Administration Launches ‘Moms.Gov’ To Help You Find A Fake Abortion Clinic Near You

On Mother’s Day, the Trump administration debuted its very creepy and pronatalist Moms.gov website, geared towards pushing women into having babies, whether they want them or not. In addition to general nutritional advice — drinking raw milk and mainlining ivermectin? Just guessing — the site includes a directory of so-called “crisis pregnancy centers,” the organizations that lure in women looking to terminate their pregnancies by pretending to be abortion clinics, only to try to talk them out of having one.

You know, the ones that almost never have an actual medical professional on staff (one study found that only 16 percent of CPCs had a physician and only 26 percent had a registered nurse) and are, rather, usually staffed by volunteers whose only actual qualifications include hollering at people outside of Planned Parenthood?

Yeah, those.

It also includes information about how to get Trump accounts for your kids and TrumpRx pharmaceuticals for yourself, because why miss a branding opportunity?

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Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I work in a healthcare-adjacent job with a pretty generous leave policy. When folks are going to take a sick day, it’s our practice to drop a note into Teams and say, “Not feeling well, taking a sick day, contact X about Y if it’s urgent, see you tomorrow I hope.” Sometimes folks will add a bit more info — saying they have a migraine or they caught the flu going around, etc. — but there’s nothing along the lines of needing to justify it to your manager or your team. If you’re sick, you’re sick and you take your leave.

What I’m wondering about: quite often younger employees will specifically note that they are taking a mental health day when they call (or rather, message) in sick. Is that advisable? I’ve spoken with peers about this and they were also taken aback by the (mostly) Zoomers who often do this and felt that it’s an overshare.

On one hand, I appreciate that they are taking care of themselves and I suppose it’s nice to normalize self-care around mental health, especially since we work in an adjacent field. On the other hand, it seems like an overshare to me. I’ve had my struggles with mental health and totally support people using PTO however they want. But it seems … weird to share this info. Does “mental health day” mean you are dealing with suicidal ideation (or similar) or it’s just been a rough month? If you took a mental health day on Monday, do I need to treat you with kid gloves on Tuesday? What if there’s a tough conversation that needs to be had, or a ton of work that needs to be done quickly? I would hold back on doing that if it was a person’s first day back from something like bereavement leave. But if it was after a physical sick day, I’d assume that the person is back in the office and prepared to carry on as usual.

Do managers owe it to employees, especially more junior ones, to say, “Hey, you never owe an explanation about PTO, and sometimes saying ‘mental health day’ can read a little unprofessional, even if it shouldn’t”?

You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it.

The post should you tell your boss you’re taking a mental health day? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

cahn: (Default)
[personal profile] cahn
Hi happy somewhat delayed Hugo season!

I have been flirting with the novels but I guess my attention span these days is novella-sized, so that's all I've managed to get through so far.

Murder by Memory by Olivia Waite (Tordotcom) - On a starship where the inhabitants manage the long travel by recording their minds and swapping out bodies, a detective wakes up in another body and must investigate a murder, not just of a body but also of minds... I liked it! It wasn't super deep, and I was a bit side-eying the nod towards a potential ship at the end given what we know, but there was a lot of fun worldbuilding and yarn (knitting is both a character point and a minor plot point). I loved Ruthie and John, my faves.

The Summer War by Naomi Novik (Del Rey US; Del Rey UK) - A fairy tale where Celia, the youngest of the Grand Duke Veris' three children, deals with the aftermath of the summer war with the magical faerie-like summerlings and the fallout in her own family while navigating her own heritage.

I really really liked this one, actually. I just think Novik matches up very well with what I want, thematically, and of course her writing is great. There was one character I was like, well, this is obviously the most interesting character, and was pleased that the author was not uninterested.
Spoilers!I am of course talking about Veris here. From Argent's POV he seems like a run-of-the-mill homophobe, but even though Celia kind of thinks so too, she also sees that he actually doesn't particularly care about the gay thing, he just cares very very much about having to be very very careful as he has had to be his whole life (in other ways). So I really liked that characterization which I thought was quite interesting (much more interesting than if he had just been a regular homophobe), and I loved that he came back at the end and was able to redeem himself a bit. And then of course the recurring theme of "let's save everyone, not just the people we love," which I always adore, and also I absolutely positively adored how the whole family figured themselves out and came together. I am SUCH a sucker for that. I really loved how Novik had such empathy for each one of them, and understood that sometimes people can be jerks (and in fact each of them behaves badly at one point or another) but it doesn't mean that's the entirety of their character.


What Stalks the Deep by T. Kingfisher (Nightfire; Titan UK) - I always like Kingfisher's writing but I think I can get a tiny bit tired of it? So I read the first of these, What Moves the Dead, a couple of years ago and enjoyed it a lot but then didn't feel like I needed to read any more in this series. Then I read this one and I enjoyed it but felt like I'd already kind of read it? Alex Easton, the narrator of these books, is a sworn soldier (with ka/kan pronouns) in the fictional country of Gallacia. Ka helps investigate odd horror-ish events... so, yeah, that was the plot of both of them. This one is set in the US. I guess the difference is that
Spoilers for both booksin the first book they destroyed the fungus, and in this book, they saved the organism, yay! In both books it was very clear that Kingfisher's sympathy was with the non-human character, so it was nice for it to end well for it here.

Your Idea Starts Here / Goatman

May. 12th, 2026 04:00 pm
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Posted by prestadojeffrey

YOUR IDEA STARTS HERE: 77 MIND-EXPANDING WAYS TO UNLEASH YOUR CREATIVITY

Your Idea Starts Here: 77 Mind-Expanding Ways to Unleash Your Creativity
by Carolyn Eckert
Storey Publishing
2016, 224 pages, 5.1 x 7.2 x 0.9 inches

Buy on Amazon

Art director Carolyn Eckert originally wrote Your Idea Starts Here for artists and designers who needed a creative boost, but soon realized that the book can actually help any inventive soul. This hardcover pocket-sized book pops with fun images along with 77 exercises to dislodge the blockages that are damming up your creative juices. For instance, Exercise 19 suggests changing up your routine (inspired by a Steve Jobs practice). Exercise 35 says to “Stop Whatever You’re Doing.” In other words, “If you were using blue, use orange. If it’s square, make it round…”

Interspersed between the idea-generating exercises are inspiring stories about inventions (such as the potato chip, Slinky, and windshield wipers) and what sparked them. More brainstorming tool than self-help book, Your Idea Starts Here is fun and simple yet super inspiring for anyone who looking for new ideas. – Carla Sinclair


GOATMAN: HOW I TOOK A HOLIDAY FROM BEING HUMAN

GoatMan: How I Took a Holiday from Being Human
by Thomas Thwaites
Princeton Architectural Press
2016, 208 pages, 5.9 x 8.6 x 0.9 inches

Buy on Amazon

Thomas Thwaites has a curious idea of what it means to take a vacation, at least if the just released GoatMan: How I Took a Holiday from Being Human is any indication. What started off as a casual observation about how Queen Elizabeth’s dog, Noggin, probably worries a good deal less than his royal master evolved into a quixotic book full of ruminations on ruminants. Animals, Thwaites imagined, live in the moment, free from worry, at one with the land. How wonderful to be so unburdened, he thought. So, after briefly considering becoming an elephant, he decided to try his hand at being a goat.

Along the way, Thwaites learned a good deal about goats. Humans, Thwaites tells us, have been interacting with them since 9000 BCE – from the domestication of bezoar goats somewhere in the foothills of the Zagros Mountains to the mythical, sexual subjugation of goats by the goat-horned, Greek god Pan, as depicted in a rather graphic sculpture discovered under layers of ash deposited on the city of Herculaneum by Mount Vesuvius in the year 79. Much to our relief, Thwaites just wants to be a goat, not to “do” one.

Which is not to say the book is not occasionally disgusting. The section describing the R&D behind his goat suit includes the dissection of a goat named Venus, who died of natural causes and whose skinned limbs, palm-sized brain, and oozing guts are explored in gory detail. I’ll spare you. Suffice it to say that in the end, Thwaites gets his opportunity to clomp about on all fours on the steep hillsides of Switzerland, where he hangs out with a herd of Swiss goats and does what goats do – he grazes. For the record, the green-green grass, he reports, is sweeter than the blue-green stuff, which is bitter. Later, Thwaites makes a meal of the grass he’d been chewing and spitting into an artificial goat stomach, using decidedly non-goat cooking techniques to make it digestible for his human digestive system. The resulting “burnt grass stew,” he confesses, was the “most unappetising meal of my life.” Perhaps, though, if Thwaites had simply spent a few days hiking on two legs instead of four in this beautiful place, he would have had fewer goat concerns on his human mind. – Ben Marks


Books That Belong On Paper first appeared on the web as Wink Books and was edited by Carla Sinclair. Sign up here to get the issues a week early in your inbox.

yourlibrarian: Topher Didn't Do It (OTH-Topher Didn't Do It - yourlibrarian)
[personal profile] yourlibrarian posting in [community profile] tv_talk

Laptop-TV combo with DVDs on top and smartphone on the desk



TV has always glamorized characters, even those who weren’t supposed to be while denying jobs to people who look like what they are.

What does "normal people" mean to you when it comes to television? Which shows and/or characters succeed at portraying "the normal life"? And what are clichés that you dislike seeing about supposed normalcy?

Social Q's: One Day, It May Be a Yes

May. 12th, 2026 11:38 am
katiedid717: (Default)
[personal profile] katiedid717 posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
I am a social person. But increasingly, I have little time to socialize. I have two young children and a demanding job. Still, some friends text me frequently, even though I reply concisely and keep refusing their kind invitations. Should I be firmer — maybe start ignoring texts?
BUSY MOM


I once had a boss who, like you, was a busy working mother. She taught me a valuable lesson for managing social interactions on text and email: Do not become hostage to your phone or feel compelled to respond to every message as it arrives. Once or twice a day, spend 15 or 20 minutes responding to all of them — and don’t worry about them again until the next time. It beats telling friends to stop texting.

EDIT: LW provided more info in the comments

I am Busy Mom, LW #4. I just want to clarify something.

In my email to Philip, I used the word "acquaintances," not "friend." The texts I am referring to are from former coworkers, parents of my kids' old friends who now attend different schools, etc. - people I really don't know very well.

I know I should count my blessings, and I do appreciate that people are reaching out, but I truly feel overwhelmed by the number of texts I get from these acquaintances. There are a few former co-workers who text me all the time just to chat and "stay in touch," and I truly do not have as much time for them as they have for me. I'm genuinely wondering if it's better to "ghost" them and stop replying, or to say I don't have the capacity right now.

I'm not sure if other young(ish) parents can relate, but parenting right now feels like a constant barrage of communications - medical appointment reminders, school and after-school emails, parent chat groups, parent-teacher meeting updates, mom WhatsApp groups, neighborhood Signal chats, school log-in systems with updates from teachers, I am completely and utterly overwhelmed with information overload. I get so much textual messaging across so many different platforms, it honestly stresses me out, and I can't keep track of everything.

In which Ferret has sports feelings

May. 12th, 2026 11:48 am
seekingferret: Two warning signs one above the other. 1) Falling Rocks. 2) Falling Rocs. (Default)
[personal profile] seekingferret
I've been a Knicks fan for 35 years and this past two weeks has been the best I have ever seen the Knicks play. They are better by far than '94 and '99. They're also astoundingly more likeable than the '94 or '99 Knicks. It's so much nicer to cheer for Jalen Brunson than it was to cheer for Latrell Sprewell.

The Hart-Bridges-Brunson Nova Knicks thing is adorable, the sheer joy of them getting to hang out again with their college buddies is one of the fun dynamics of this team and certainly contributes to team chemistry.

And KAT, especially Point God KAT that we are seeing in the playoffs, is so much fun. The problem with KAT has always been that he's so talented that sometimes he loses interest and coasts, but he is so fun to watch when he tries his hardest and I have never seen him trying harder than he is trying right now. He fights for every rebound, he's blocking shots like he was Willie Cauley-Stein, and when he drives from the three point line it's like a freight train. And yet even better than any of that is when he stands at the middle of the arc and orchestrates the offense like an air traffic controller. And he's doing it with all of his goofy KAT energy intact. What a delightfully silly man.

I haven't even said anything about OG, who a surprising amount of the time is the best Knick in the floor, a defensive wizard who has discovered how to score at will.

And OG's injury aside, the greatest delight of this postseason is how well rested everyone is. It was so miserable last season watching Thibs grind his starters into powder. Were there triumphs, yes, but the human cost was too high. With help from Mitchell Robinson, Deuce McBride, Landry Shamet, Jordan Clarkson, and even a bit of Tyler Kolek and Jeremy Sochan, the starters are getting to take a break, and the result is obvious, what everyone was screaming about last year. If you're well rested, you don't get hurt as much and you can play with more energy and have more fun. DUH, Thibs And now the Knicks get a full week off before the Eastern Conference Finals while Detroit and Cleveland slug it out.

I'm very nervous nonetheless about Detroit, who has dominated us in the regular season even though they look like they're running out of gas now. But maybe we don't need to face them at all, if they can't get passed the Cavs. And right now the Knicks look like they can beat anybody, and I cannot remember ever having that feeling. It feels so good.
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Posted by Zach Weinersmith



Click here to go see the bonus panel!

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The weird part is I'll get complaint emails about the 2037 Olympics not being possible, and not, like, the rest of this idea.


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