snacky | (no subject)

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I just read a thread that devolved into people arguing about whether they thought of Robert Downey Jr's dick when they wrote smut.

(Spoilers: Smut writers say no, not thinking about RDJ's dick specifically, just a general dick for smutty purposes. People do not believe this say it's a little like raping RDJ to write about his character having sex because OF COURSE you must think about his dick.)

There were no winners. Except me. Who laughed and laughed.

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The headtilt I just made.

It was just such a strange road to go down!

I know fandom has always been fandom, but SOME DAYS I think it's just getting weirder and weirder and more puritan.

That's...um. An interesting way of looking at things. O_o

Right? I was honestly boggled! Like, how do you get to that place?

..............
I'm supposed to think specifically of RDJ's dick when I think of Tony Stark having sex? Dude, I don't have a clue as to how his looks like, and I don't want to know. :)

Exactly! Writing smut doesn't mean "making personal pornos starring RDJ!"

...WHAT

IT WAS A SHINING MOMENT OF CRAZY!

... huh. :g:

It was such an unexpected detour! :D

That kind of makes my day, in a twisted way. Where's the popcorn?

Right? Once I got into the premise, I totally enjoyed the argument. :D

...what if I'm writing comics Tony? Do I have to think of cartoon dick? What if it's from the four-colour era, does it have little coloured dots?

THAT WAS ACTUALLY PART OF THE ARGUMENT! If you write comics Tony it's okay (as long as you're writing him from pre-Iron Man movies era*) because then it's only comic dick you're thinking about, not REAL PERSON DICK.

*there were a lot of qualifications for this side of the argument.

And I hope to god you're thinking about a dick with colored dots, because that will make my day. :D

Now I'm thinking of "Put me in the zoo" and the polkadotted animal. Polkadot dicks for all!

OMG! I am laughing so hard at the idea of cartoon dick!

That is absolutely bizarre, the idea that thinking about someone's body being involved in sex acts is in any way equivalent to rape. I mean, that's some old-school Bible-based 'whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her' thoughtcrime right there.

You wouldn't mind so much, but the people on this side of the argument are mostly anime fans, and their justification went, "it's okay when we write about 12 year olds having sex, because they're not real people, but Tony Stark is like a real person because he was played in a movie by RDJ* so that means you can only visualize an actual real person having sex."

So it's all very weird because you'd think people who compare imaginary characters having sex to rape would be against imaginary children having sex, BUT NO. Evidently the line is where a real person becomes attached to the character.

*the argument then further devolved to "well do you think of the VOICE ACTORS having sex?"

it's okay when we write about 12 year olds having sex, because they're not real people, but Tony Stark is like a real person because he was played in a movie by RDJ* so that means you can only visualize an actual real person having sex.

...*boggles some more*

I ... I ... o_0

I got nothing.

Wow.

Possibly gigantic defensive wanking because they don't want to discuss what they're doing.

Says the RPF fan. I like thinking about RDJ's dick!

Oh fandom.

I know, it's not like I should have expected anything else. :D

*facepalm*

I keep thinking fandom arguments can no longer surprise me, but I AM WRONG.

So if you are writing about Sherlock Holmes doing the thing, then you have to think of RDJ todger rather than....Sherlock Holmes'?

Exactly! Or at least, they ASSUME everyone is thinking of that.

And if it is an Iron Man/Sherlock crossover fic, it's RDJ somehow... masturbating instead?

What the...

I know, it's very head-achey.

I need a wine recommendation.

What goes with crazycakes?

Mad Dog 2020? Boones Farm?

How about that sparkly purple wine that showed up on tumblr a year ago or so? Not sure if it was called Vinq. Also, there was a red version too that I saw in store. :)

*applauds this comment*

Welp, thank them for putting the image of RDJ's dick into my head. That's great. That's really, really great.

Oh shit, now it's got a top hat on and is doing a little dance.

EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVER, ANN!

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