(no subject)

[snacky]

Here is a story from my life as a bookseller:

Back when I was newbie bookseller, a customer called on the phone and told me a long story about how her car got broken into and her cassette tapes were stolen and one of the tapes was an audio version of The Bhagavad Gita, read by some famous author. Unfortunately, she couldn't remember the famous author's name ("But you must know him! He's that famous guy! From Oprah!"). But she had bought it at our bookstore, and she was sure we still had it and she wanted to replace it.

Now, I was, as I said, new to the job. I had never heard of The Bhagavad Gita. And since she didn't know the author's name, I was going to have to look the book up in the computer by the title. The way I spell something, I just try to picture the word in my mind, and take it from there. But for some reason, I couldn't wrap my mind around Bhagavad Gita. I kept wanting to spell it "b-g-a-d-i-..." and I knew it wasn't right. So I asked her if she could spell it for me.

Customer: "I don't know how to spell it!"
Me: "Well, I don't know either, and I need to spell it to look it up in the computer."
Customer: "You work in a bookstore! How can you not know how to spell?"

Here I was thinking, "You owned the book! How can you not know the author or how to spell the title?" Instead I said: "Ma'am, I do know how to spell. But I'm just not familiar with the title. So I'm not sure how to spell it."

And now we entered the part of the conversation where the woman felt it would be helpful to just repeat "Bhagavad Gita" over and over again.

Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "Bah, bava-"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "B-a-d?"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "Okay, ma'am? Can you hold for --"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"

I, of course, started to lose it at this point.

Me: "Bagga Daggita?"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "Battlestar Galactica?"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "Inna Gadda Da Vida?"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "Bag of margaritas?"
Customer: "Bhagavad Gita!"
Me: "Babaganoush pizza?!"
Customer: "BHAGAVAD GITA!"

This was, I feel, a career highlight in customer service.

Luckily, at that moment, the manager who handled all the religion and philosophy books walked up, and I thrust the phone at him in a panic. He proceeded to order an audio cassette of Deepak Chopra reading The Bhagavad Gita for the woman. And when he hung up, I made him teach me how to spell it. *g*

Comments

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Me: "Bag of margaritas?"

Best. Response. Ever.

[snacky]

Hee! It was wishful thinking at that moment.

[noelleleithe.livejournal.com]

Me: "Inna Gadda Da Vida?"

THANK you. Now I am earwormed.

*g*

[snacky]

"Don't you know I love you?"

:-D

[k2daisy.livejournal.com]

Me: "Battlestar Galactica?"

HEEEEEEE!

[snacky]

Honest to god. And I said it like, "guh-lac-TEEKA" so it rhymed with Bhagavad Gita.

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

Heee!

"bag of margaritas" should be an acceptable answer to any question.

[snacky]

Indeed. And it should be a takeout product from my favorite bar. *g*

[cofax7]

Babaganoush Pizza!

Eeeee!

*snickers*

[snacky]

I lost it, man. *g*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I love you. I want to metaquote this so bad, but I can't think where to start.

[snacky]

<3

Hee hee. Take the whole thing, if you want.

[rapunze11e.livejournal.com]

I'm loving you like a two-dollar whore right now.

[snacky]

As I so deserve. :-D

[coffeeandink.livejournal.com]

Do you know why I like you? It's not because of the dialogue, as hysterical as it is. It's because after all that, you made the manager teach you how to spell Bhagavad Gita.

[snacky]

Heh, I had to learn after that! And it's been a handy thing to know.

[vickita.livejournal.com]

Me: "Inna Gadda Da Vida?

This is the one that came to *my* mind. Hee!

[snacky]

I went crazy with free-associating!

[jennnlee.livejournal.com]

Here via metaquotes. God, that's awesome. I did some time as a bookseller, and had a customer get hostile with me when I couldn't find a book she wanted when she didn't know the title. Wheee!

[snacky]

Oh, that's the worst. "But the book is blue!" like that helps.

[norda.livejournal.com]

I saw this entry cross-referenced in booksellers.

Good grief.

There's only one person I know who can tell that Bhagavad Gita story, in her own incomparable manner.

I didn't know you were on LJ!

C'mon over to my journal and let's dish.

-------pmc-squared

[teshara.livejournal.com]

If you are ever in Northern California and need a job in retail, call me.

[snacky]

Heh, thanks!

[somedaygirl.livejournal.com]

My stomach is clenching up as I read this story. Hee, I'm panicky now too!

Fabulous, though.

[snacky]

It was one of the moments I wished I'd never picked up the phone.

[brucha.livejournal.com]

So, you're telling me that Deepak Chopra (who was on Oprah), he did read-a The Bhagavad Gita?

[snacky]

Heeheeheehee!

I'm giggling madly over here.

[juliadactyl.livejournal.com]

My friend, who carries The Bhagavad Gita around so he can read it when he feels like he's going crazy, is coming over this afternoon. I'm going to keep calling it the Inna Gadda Da Vida and wait until his head explodes.

Even better, I'll wait until we take some hallucinogenics and try to convince him that they're the same thing.

Wait, I can't remember, is it wrong to mess with people's coping mechanisms?

[snacky]

If it's wrong, I don't wanna be right.

hee hee hee

[annamatic.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of that Tick sketch:

TICK: I've had enough chasing. It's your turn now, Forest Smog!
THRAKAZOG: Thrakazog! Thrakazog! With a "K"! Boy, are you ever rude.
TICK: No brains today; we're only serving humble-pie, Whatchamazog!
THRAKAZOG: Listen buddy, for the last time it's...
TICK: Four Axe in a Bog?
THRAKAZOG: Thrakazog!
TICK: Ah, Laxative Log!
THRAKAZOG: No, no, no!
TICK: Lap Land a Zog?
THRAKAZOG: No!
TICK: Four Yaks and a Dog?
THRAKAZOG: Thrak--!
TICK: Sapsuckafrog!
THRAKAZOG: No, no, no!
TICK: Suuuuusan?
THRAKAZOG: Oh, now you're doing it on purpose. How juvenile!

Re: hee hee hee

[snacky]

I am in good company!

[leiliaxf.livejournal.com]

<<>>>

OMFG---BEST.STORY.EVAH!

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

OMG, I almost choked on my tortilla chip I was laughing so hard.
I never even heard of this book until last week when I was playing charades with my sister, her husband, and some of our family/friends. It was boys v. girls, and they were trying really hard to win. This was one of the ones in the "Books" category, and my poor sister (who had never heard of it) had to act it out.
Lemme tell you, my brother-in-law was in biiiig trouble when he told her he'd been the one to put it in.

P.S. Here from metaquotes via cleolinda

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Visiting from metaquotes. I agree with the person who said the coolest thing about the story -- funny though it is -- was that afterwards you went to the trouble of learning how to spell it. That's seriously cool, and turns it into something much sweeter than a simple "Stupid Customer Tricks" story.