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Daily Happiness
2. I got some of the rhubarb I chopped up and froze a few weeks ago out of the freezer and made another pie. There's still four bags (I didn't divide it that way on purpose but it turns out two bags is exactly enough for one pie).
3. Ollie is such a cutie pie.

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Dear Rare Male Slash Writer
My likes: Adventures, ghosts, casefic, stuff that only works within the canon they come from, smut to gen.
My DNWs: Underage (-18/-18 sexual, -18/+18 anything), noncon or dubcon.
All my requests are for Fanfic.
- X-Men: TAS
- World of Warcraft
- CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
- Hellboy (Comics)
( the letter! )
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Two Guardian fics: Sunshine and Honey (M-rated) and Pages for You (T-rated)
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Title: Sunshine and Honey (4126 words) [Mature]
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Relationships: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Additional Tags: Ye Olde Haixing Era, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Outdoor Sex, Feeding, Finger Sucking, Oral Fixation, First Kiss (for one of them), First time (for one of them), Treat
Summary:
They were halfway to the Allied Forces’ southern boundary when the sun came out. Shen Wei pulled back his hood and looked around, conscious of the breeze on his bare face. The heavy clouds were finally breaking up.
Meanwhile, Kunlun had dropped his bag and flopped onto his back on the grassy slope. “Let’s rest here a while.”
Title: Pages for You (1762 words) [Teen and Up]
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Relationships: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Fade to Black, Community: fan_flashworks
Summary:
Over the course of the evening, an impulse had taken root, and now Shen Wei submitted to it. He switched on his desk lamp, laid out several large sheets of paper and quietly ground some ink. If Zhao Yunlan wanted to read of their time together through the eyes of a Dixingren soldier, who better than Shen Wei to write an account—to show Zhao Yunlan exactly how much his arrival had meant to the war effort and to Shen Wei himself.
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Me-and-media update
In the Routine poll, 84.2% of respondents voted for tooth-brushing, 50.9% for locking up and switching things off around the house, and 33.3% for tending to pets. Night-time routines taking more than half an hour got 24.6%, and "sometimes it takes me an hour or more" got 7%. *high fives*
In ticky-boxes, hugs won with 75.4%, followed by "how stressful it is to ask tradespeople to change things they've done" with 57.9% and "sitting on a mountain ledge in the moonlight, listening to owls" with 56.1%. Thank you for your votes! <3
Reading
Incandescent by Emily Tesh, read by Zara Ramm, who sounds exactly like Emma Thompson. I spent the middle third of this being unsure what the plot was (or if there even was a plot; "is this a cosy magic-school story?" I asked nobody in particular). Things stirred ominously under the surface, but the tension relied on the reader being more worried about them than the mostly oblivious POV character -- which was interesting. Overall, I enjoyed it very much.
The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander (Chronicles of Prydain). A few more chapters. I'm past halfway and it still feels like setup, which I guess is a function of it being the first book of five.
A tiny bit more of Neurotribes. I'm bored with the case studies/anecdotes and ready for some theory.
Two more chapters of Guardian by priest.
My Whimsy binge stalled after bouncing off three different narrators for The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club. None of them hit the humour right. I suppose I'm going to have to read in text, but Prydain first (and I still haven't finished my reread of Werecockroach, note to self).
Kdramas
I finished Our Unwritten Seoul and enjoyed it very much. It's about 30yo identical twins, one who works in a corporate office in Seoul, and one who lives in their hometown and does a series of temporary and part-time jobs. The office worker is miserable from being bullied at work, so they decide to swap lives. Contains some pretty good (in my inexpert opinion) disability rep, and
I approved of both the morals (spoilers)
1) if you bottle things up and don't let people see your vulnerability, you can't feel their love; and 2) love isn't about winning or losing, or whether you're a burden; it's about being on the same team, staying together, and supporting each other as you win or lose. <3 <3 <3 (I was so happy when Ho-su stopped pushing Mi-ji away, and with the ending when they used sign language sometimes. <3 <3 <3)I cancelled my VIKI subscription earlier this week because I wasn't using it, so of course I immediately started watching My Dearest Nemesis, as recced by
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Note to self: check out First Night with the Duke next. And maybe renew your VIKI subscription.
Other TV
Poker Face and Murderbot continue to be enjoyable (we're an episode behind on each of them). I found the second half of Andor season 2 a lot more engaging than the first half (and might like the first half more on the rewatch; yet to be determined). Another episode each of Étoile and Krapopolis. The Old Guard 2 on Netflix.
Tiny spoiler for the very end.
Andrew was disgusted that, at the end, as [redacted] leave the secret archive full of ancient texts, they turn out the light but leave candles burning. "What about the ancient books?!" LOL!A rewatch of French film Rosalie Blum, which I love.
Guardian/Fandom
The continuing delights of read-alongs and polls.
Audio entertainment
A little bit of Heather Cox Richardson's Letters from an American (US constitutional-law context for current developments), a little bit of Midnight Burger (audiodrama), most of the first season of Eight Days of Diana Wynne Jones (which I'm enjoying despite not being familiar with DWJ's earlier books).
Writing/making things
I wrote a flashfic for the
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Life/health/mental state things
My thumbs/hands/wrists are not in great shape. My body is working hard to metabolise ambient stress. (*hugs to everyone*) I'm feeling a little under siege by winter and ~the state of things~, but I saw my sister for the first time in weeks (she's had a cold), a friend came over for lunch on Thursday, and last night our tv-watching friend joined us for Rosalie Blum.
Good things
Chocolate. Andrew and Halle. Fandom and all of you. Polls. Kdramas. Books. Podcasts. Eminem. Writing when it happens. AO3 (*clutches*). Love, kindness, and diversity.
Crowd-sourcing randomness
heads
7 (18.9%)
tails
8 (21.6%)
edge
9 (24.3%)
zero-g (the coin never falls)
15 (40.5%)
ticky-box full of grumbly cats in search of treats
25 (67.6%)
ticky-box full of being protective of your blorbos
18 (48.6%)
ticky-box full of surviving AO3 outages
26 (70.3%)
ticky-box full of soft, bright-green moss nestled at the base of a tree, glittering with beads of dew
23 (62.2%)
ticky-box full of hugs
28 (75.7%)
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Weekly Reading
Murder at the Patel Motel
39%. This is not actually a book, so much as an audio drama. It's an Audible Original and comes free with membership, so I decided to try it out. Turns out the author and voice of the main character is the guy who played Jack's assistant on 30 Rock. I loved him in that! And I'm liking this "book" a lot so far.
Just Happy to Be Here
11%. YA about a South Asian trans girl's experience at a mostly white all girls' high school. It's all right so far.
Sister Outsider
No progress.
Riding the Rails
48%.
Recently Finished
How Jesus Became God: The Exaltation of a Jewish Preacher from Galilee
I felt like this took ages to finish, but it was a good read. Very interesting stuff.
A Terrible Nasty Business
I really want more books in this series.
Sou Iu Ie no Ko no Hanashi vol. 1
New series from Shimura Takako following three characters who were raised in the same new religion (the religion in the story is not any real one, just based on others), marking them as different from the majority of the population, which is not actively religious. I like pretty much everything by Shimura Takako, so I'm curious to see where this goes.
Tsumetakute Yawaraka vol. 5
Hatsukoi no Tsugi vol. 2
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7/4/2025 Inspiration Trail // EBR Botanic Garden
No MacGillivray's. I didn't stay as long as usual, less than three hours, and as always I didn't want to go home, so I parked the EBR Botantic Garden and sat on the bench at the top of the garden for forty minutes or so. My list there was a bit different, as the garden is sheltered and has a creek through it. The Swainson's Thrushes were singing and the American Robins were rushing around presumably feeding families. Right across a lawn from me there was almost certainly a Black-headed Grosbeak nest from all the adult activity. I even heard a Western Bluebird! I haven't had one on Inspiration Trail in some time. ( The list: )
I should do that more often. I drove home the long way, all the way through Tilden and down Spruce, avoiding possible roadblocks.
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- ch: david marcus,
- ch: james t kirk,
- ch: leonard mccoy,
- ch: saavik,
- ch: spock,
- cw: genocide,
- essay: kirk drift,
- fandom: star trek,
- film: star trek original films,
- film: star trek the motion picture,
- film: the final frontier,
- film: the undiscovered country,
- film: the wrath of khan,
- genre: meta,
- person: bff,
- person: leonard nimoy,
- person: william shatner,
- rants,
- ship: kirk/spock,
- site: tumblr,
- tv: star trek the original series,
- wank
Tumblr crosspost (4 February 2025)
My feelings are … more complex now. Where Spock’s character growth was randomly rewound in TMP for unexplained reasons, Wrath of Khan!Spock feels more of a projection into the future. He’s older, steadier, and less repressed, while still retaining the composure and dignity that are so personally and culturally important to him. His sense of humor is still dry but less buried and harsh, he’s reserved and unflinching in a very Spock way, but it feels healthier and more integrated than he was capable of before. I don’t get the impression that he’s at all ashamed of what he feels for Kirk at this point, nor ashamed of much at all.
I feel like we see how far Spock has come from his early shame and denial, for instance, when Kirk, McCoy, and Saavik go to beam to the research base. There’s this less-repressed-than-formerly-but-still-powerful intensity in Kirk and Spock's farewell that, as ever, gives the distinct sense that everyone else just ceased to exist for them. Spock says outright, “Be careful, Jim” and it’s very adorable and relatively open by Spock standards. And then professional hater McCoy is like … oh, so am I chopped liver? while Saavik is just ????? and it’s hilarious and just feels very recognizable.
[ETA 7/4/25: this is still roughly my opinion after re-watching the other TOS movies, with one large caveat I struggled to fully articulate at first. Both TOS and TMP emphasize that an overwhelmingly Vulcan Spock is not true to the fuller reality of who Spock is and is not psychologically healthy for him. The lifelong pressure he's been under to compress himself into someone who could fit within an acceptably Vulcan identity is the source of his suffering and (gay-coded!) repression. His arc throughout TOS, which is then repeated and finalized in TMP, was all about him finding a path out of this repressed, ashamed existence, a path in which he doesn't need to renounce the ways he's Vulcan, but can accept himself in a healthier, more balanced way than Vulcan culture or his own hang-ups were ever going to allow. The essential tension of TMP pivots on this far more than on anything to do with Kirk, and culminates in Spock refusing to return to seek approval on Vulcan, and instead staying with Kirk and going to Earth—this is symbolic, not just a plot detail. Spock has struggled to prove himself a true Vulcan, even while choosing Earth/humanity at essentially every fork in the road: joining Starfleet instead of the VSA, serving on a human Starfleet vessel instead of the Vulcan ones that exist in TOS, refusing alternative, more Vulcan-typical opportunities like with Kollos because he insists his life is on the Enterprise, breaking his kolinahr when Kirk and V'ger unintentionally reach out, and finally confirming all these decisions in that refusal to go back to Vulcan.
But the two Meyer films, The Wrath of Khan and The Undiscovered Country, are more inclined towards idealizing Spock than the other films (and certainly more than TOS), and idealizing him specifically in Vulcan terms. Both lean into this largely idealized Spock who is essentially the face of Vulcan maturity, driven by Vulcan philosophies he never mentioned and rarely adhered to previously, and don't really engage with how deeply trying to be an ideal Vulcan has been a source of pain and real harm for him, nor with his arc largely involving movement away from overriding identification with Vulcan and towards identification with his relationships to other people, especially Kirk. In both, Spock's relationship with Kirk is more ambiguous than in the other films, despite still being very important. The major exception to this "Vulcanizing" of Spock without much sense of its costs is the death scene, where the glass between Spock and Kirk gives shape to the price of his emotional distance—and honestly, it was unsurprising to discover that the idea for that came from Shatner, not Meyer. As powerful as the death scene is, Spock's side of the dialogue is rather odd to me in characterization terms, especially after TMP; the idea that he'd address Kirk as Admiral at such a moment rather than Jim, the kind of generic "don't grieve" sentiment that has little to do with any particulars of their relationship. Much of the power of the scene comes from the cinematic language and the absolutely superb performances, IMO.
But then, my fandom heresy is that I actually think The Final Frontier does a much better job than The Wrath of Khan of credibly showing a Spock who has come to terms with his hang-ups around his culture and family and feelings and relationships, and can insist on the whole person he is now, while remaining very much recognizable with Spock's distinct quirks. He's still capable of fucking up in very Spock ways and being characteristically petty and defensive about doing so, but he's also grown beyond Sybok and Sarek and proving himself as a Vulcan on a very fundamental level, without cutting out any part of what makes him who he is. Godslayer Spock > perfect Vulcan ideal Spock! In any case, though, I do feel that Meyer's Spock is pretty deeply disengaged from the basic direction of his arc in TMP and TOS and, like with Kirk, much more influenced by the pop culture perception of him than the details of his original characterization. It's not terrible but it is noticeable, and that swerve has strongly influenced the perception of Spock as a character over time, including in his original incarnation. I like seeing Spock live his best life in TWOK, to be sure, but I do think the execution is conceptually flawed.]
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2025 Disneyland Trip #47 (7/3/25)
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Wax's summer vacation, the only time we can do renovation tasks
We also oiled the hinge of the bathroom door - the one modern, new door in the house - which has been squeaking for years (unlike all the other doors, which are from 1950 and work flawlessly). And then we glued the aluminum threshold down over the tile floor at that door - it was already loose when the contractors left because the initial adhesive they had used wasn't in contact with the front face of the cement under the tiles, because the tile sticks out a few mm proud of the subfloor. I scraped a layer of gummy glue off the back of the threshold (glue which had never stuck to the tile and instead became impregnated with dust and dirt), then applied some construction adhesive. It's extremely stinky upstairs now as it dries, even with the windows open.
But anyway, all that didn't even take all day. We've done a bunch of laundry and sat on the sofa cuddling cats in between. Can't believe it took us five years.
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7/3/2025 Loop Road and Laurel Canyon
No Common Ravens! It was very strange. They are always around and vocal.
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Idle Friday post that turned out to be half about Pokemon Go
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But here. It's Friday. The world is terrifying, but at least for this moment the sun is out. I spent most of my workday in a style guide meeting, which was genuinely pretty fun; tonight we're seeing Ginny and Kas because this week it's better for them than our usual Saturday hangout.
Tomorrow the (very) wee farmers' market that's only a few blocks away is getting underway for the season. I have ambitions of actually rolling out of bed and walking over in hopes of strawberries, even though tomorrow and Sunday are also Eevee community day in Pokemon Go, so I'm also hoping to leave the house those afternoons. Leaving the house twice in one day is not exactly a thing that happens often, and as a result, the prospect of it is exhausting. ^^; But here's hoping!
There's been zero doubt for a long time now that my only actual investment in Pokemon Go is the pursuit of shinies, and community days are the best chance to get shinies of a given critter, and Eevee, see, has EIGHT possible evolutions, so if there's any faint hope of ever having a full set of shinies of those, well, it's this weekend.
(I can't remember if I've said here that this is a crystalized perfect demonstration of why it's really, really good that I don't gamble. I'm usually pleased when I catch a new-to-me Pokemon, but it's pretty minor. But rather than setting the game aside, since it mostly hasn't resulted in me actually getting outside and walking much more than I had been, the hope of catching a shiny critter keeps me opening it back up. Nobody get me into slot machines, okay? [That sounds facetious, but I mean it very seriously.])
That's all I've got right now. Stay well, friends.
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Top posts of 6/2025 at Crazy Eddie's Motie News
( Most read, commented on, shared, and liked posts of Crazy Eddie's Motie News last month behind the cut. )
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Tumblr crosspost (3 Feburary 2025)
My tags: #despite darcy/elizabeth being my god tier maximum otp i completely agree that they would not lmao #i voted anne/wentworth! those two are practically venting steam at this point
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Tumblr crosspost (2 February 2025)
KIRK: Well, there’s one difference between us. I’m hungry.
ANDROID KIRK: The difference is your weakness, captain, not mine.
KORBY: One at a time, gentlemen. Captain?
KIRK: Eating is a pleasure, sir. Unfortunately, one you will never know.
ANDROID KIRK: Perhaps, but I will never starve, sir.
me, drafting a post on “The Conscience of the King”: hey robot feel free to shut the fuck up forever
Tagged: #not quite up there with lenore being like 'who do you think you are to judge my father for orchestrating a genocide you survived' #or kodos himself defending himself by claiming kirk is basically subhuman which is. uhhh layers of horrifying #but. you know. good god. #(this was produced only a few weeks before 'conscience of the king' btw which almost immediately precedes 'shore leave'. despite the episodic quality the air order does make spock and mccoy's machinations #to get kirk to take some shore leave and decompress VERY understandable #also mccoy's remark in 'shore leave' #that kirk was a very serious young man in his early academy days and kirk's correction that he was not just serious but grim ...yeah)
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Tumblr crosspost (2 February 2025)
We were talking about how shitty the parent corporations etc were towards many slash shippers of the 70s and 80s, and she was like, “I don’t really get why anyone would be mad about people seeing their particular relationship as romantic, it’s just… this isn’t coming out of nowhere. There’s a lot of intensity and they obviously care deeply.”
me: Yeah, the series finale includes Kirk saying that Spock is closer to him than anyone else in the universe.
Ash: Wait, really? Like, literally?
me: Yes. That’s just about the exact wording, actually.
Ash: Damn.
Tagged: #also hilariously we were talking about potential star trek cosplay because j is SUCH a trekkie and i catapulted into joining him ash loves authoritative miniskirts so we proposed the romulan commander for her and j was like 'i mean. i'm an emotive blond haired square built jew. there is an obvious choice here' and ash brightened and went 'elizabeth i honestly think the best choice for you would just be female spock' me [trying to avoid revealing that i've written over six thousand words of spirk femslash in the last week]: ah. that's very flattering ash: i wonder how a female spock would even be addressed... like. miss? it seems weird. me: >_> me: <_< me: ah well. i. uh. noticed that female crewmembers are much more often addressed by rank than a gendered title at all. so commander. the conversational equivalent of hiding my stories under my bed lmao
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Daily Happiness
2. I had two interviews today and both of them stood me up, but the good thing is that I was doing them from home, so I hadn't gone out of my way for them and wasn't particularly inconvenienced.
3. We decided to go to Disneyland for dinner. Had a lovely time, though it was a bit more trafficy both going and coming than I would prefer.
4. Suspicious Gemma.

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